The Craziest Randomest Summer

I thought that I would have a normal summer of playing at the pool,camping,and visiting relatives. But little did I know what would really happen. It all started when the doorbell rang in the middle of the second week of summer.I ran to the door and opened it. Nothing was there. Then I looked down and saw a pumpkin with arms,legs, and a mouth! He said that if I carved a face on him, then stuck my hand in him, then he would grant me 1 wish. So I happily obliged. I wasn't a very good artist, so It looked very bad, but I could tell he was very grateful to have more than just a mouth. I then made a wish to be a good artist. Instead of getting my wish, I felt my body being sucked into the pumpkin. inside, a deformed, non-human looking, black-caped man stood in a spotlight, I turned and ran down a hallway that had suddenly appeared. in the middle of it, I ran into a gigantic puffer fish. Unable to stop myself, I vaulted my self on top of it, and, using it as a spring board, I jumped off it. but I kept going up. I had been sucked up a chute on the ceiling. At the top, I saw a huge slimy, mouth. Naturally, I was tossed into it. I fell into a upside down room filled doors, I suddenly felt rather ditsy and light headed. Thereafter, I spent the rest of my summer as Alice from Alice in Wonderland. I went through the famous story millions of times, only sleep when the script allowed it. But I truly thought I was Alice. After the summer had come and gone, I woke up on the doorstep of my home. When my parents saw me, They sent me to Juvie, where I spent the whole school year until they let me go home.

The End 

The Boy Who Caught the Golden Apple

a parody of iron hans a grimm fairy tail

     Although I live in an isolated kingdom, word still reaches us about neighboring kingdoms. So naturally, I heard about the trouble in the nearby forest that was on our borders. I heard that several knights had disappeared in there, a neighboring kingdom had captured a wild woman that had caused the disappearances, and the king's son who set her free in exchange for his ball that had rolled into her cage. It didn't concern me any. We never went into that forest anyway, so the wild woman wouldn't bother us. Neither would the king's son that she took with her, as he was only a child. Besides, as a princess, I had too many royal duties to go frolicking about in nearby forests, so I didn't think much about it.

     Other more interesting things arose, like the gardener's boy with the golden hair. I called to him 3 times from my window to bring me field flowers. Each time, I grabbed his cap off his head, and each time, he somehow managed to snatch it back and get away. I didn't have time to think about it from there on out, because my kingdom went to war. 

     But then, an anonymous hero came to our rescue with 50 mounted knights and won the war for us. So I decided to throw a golden apple to all my father's knights. The one who caught it would be our hero (a fairy put a detective spell on it). I threw apples 2 times. Each time,  a mysterious knight caught it then rode away. The 3rd time, we chased him down, killing his horse, wounding his leg, and capturing him. 
    We didn't hurt him anymore than that. He merely waited in his given quarters for somebody to summon him. Eventually, the King made him serve him his evening meal. The mysterious stranger brought the meal to the head of the table where my father sat. When the boy sat the golden platter down, the king yanked the cap off his head and threw it across the room. The boy's hair fumbled down on his shoulders like a glittering curtain.
    It was the gardener's boy, and the boy the wild woman had taken into the forest! He was so handsome. I knew I was in love the moment it happened. My father was so grateful that the boy had save our kingdom in the war. He offered him the usual reward:half of our kingdom and my hand in marriage. I was so happy at his offer. It was all I could do not to squeal from happiness. Instead I laughed and planted a kiss on him.
    From then on pot it all went wonderfully. The boy's parents where overjoyed to find him alive and well. Both kingdoms celebrated our marriage. In the middle of our wedding feast, a princess walked in and told us that she was the wild woman, as well as my husband's long lost older sister and he had set her free from an enchantment that a bad fairy had put on her. So, as you can see, we all lived happily ever after.

 THE

  END